Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Game

I am extremely mad and bored right now so here's a review.

I got the game for Harry Potter and the blah blah blah two days ago and I just finished it yesterday.

It was shit, but what can you expect from something like this? The movie wasn't based around action. It was based around humor and potion making. That sounds really fun doesn't it? They made a lot of shit up for this game, and I think it could of really improved if they didn't confine themselves to only the movie. Didn't they know there is a book on this? They pulled so many random fights and Quidditch matches out of their ass it's retarded. The Quidditch matches are basically fly through rings and at some arbitrary time you'll get the snitch. You don't even control the flying. It's like a throwback to those shitty FMV Sega CD games. You could seriously just leave the character in one place and you'd be fine. Besides when you're going through those fucking goal loops. They did that like once in the entire series and you're doing it 20 times. The fucked up part of all of this is that Ginny is as good of a seeker as Harry. I thought Harry was supposed to be some prodigy at this or something. And during the liquid luck sequence you can't even control your character. The whole game is really boring. Even the action. All you'll do is just mash on the stupify button and strafe around the enemy hoping that the barrage of 5000 stupifies you're shooting at them kills them first. Ignoring all of that, the other retarded thing you have to do here is potion making. God I hate potion making. The game couldn't even keep up with my mouse turning skills when you have to mix the shit, and since when is liquid death pink? Fuck this game. It is shit.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

I saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince yesterday. Yes, I saw this movie on opening day. Not only did I see it on opening day, I watched some of it on the second day. I saw this movie at 10:30 pm. I hadn't even planned to see it at 10:30. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. My mom was looking at movie times for some movies and I was like, hey, we should go see Harry Potter right now! She was a bit reluctant, and my brother had to take a shower and stuff before going out. So we had to get ready in 10 mins because it takes 20 minutes to get to the theater. By the time we left it was already 10:05 so we knew if there were a lot of people there we would get a shit seat, or maybe no seat at all. Even when we were driving, there were a bunch of slow people and even a little bit of traffic so we couldn't get there any less than 10:30.

Well when we got there the car parking lot was packed and we knew we'd get some really bad seats. We got in and some fat dude who totally looked like a pedophile was on the verge of legally harassing this one <21 year old cashier chick. I suppose that's why they're behind glass. Anyway, we got our tickets, and avoided the popcorn and drinks until we got our seats. We walked into the theater and what do you know, 2 empty rows of 4 seats on the right side of the theater. My brother got the first row, while I got the second row with my mom. So she went to get popcorn, and I was happy now that I avoided all of those 10 year old fucks who would be driving me crazy.

The movie started and every got really really quiet. No one made a sound, besides some laughter, throughout the entire movie. Good moviegoers seem to come at 10:30 showings :\

The movie starts, Harry gets curb stomped and survives with only a broken nose, and everything is pretty good. The movies ends and I'm like: "What?"

Nothing was accomplished. The only things that were accomplished are Dumbledore's death, learning about some objects, realizing that Voldermort may have been evil as a child, and to witness the fall of Michael Gambon's career. Even though that nothing was really accomplished, it was still the best Harry Potter. Maybe the Goblet of Fire was a bit better, but this one was dark funny and with the few action moments it had, it was really good. I actually can't wait to see it again.

I didn't feel any of the hype other people had for this movie, I just wanted to see something at 10:30 pm. I had no expectations, and I think I only saw the last movie once, so I was ready for anything. Halfway through the movie, I was pleasantly surprised to see myself enjoying it.

I've never read the books but for a film that makes a book to movie translation, you shouldn't have to. The reason a movie is made that is based on a book is to tell the story of a book to people who are too lazy to read. The Harry Potter series is a fine example of what a book to movie translation should be.

Public Enemies

Just got back from watching Public Enemies at the theater. Decent movie, though I did notice a few plot errors. Since Public Enemies is set in 1933 or something so I can't be too sure on certain plot errors but I'll still point them out. Please ignore those if I'm wrong.

Public Enemies is directed by Michael Mann with top actors Johnny Depp and Christain Bale up to bat. Johnny Depp did a well performance, but Christain Bale sucked. Hard. As it is a movie set in 1933, you know you have to have an accent. Johnny Depp's accent is sort of believeable, but Christian Bale's is pretty bad. I swear, at times he sounded like Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted. His performance was definitely underpar. I'm starting to get the feeling, as with everyone else, that Christain Bale, as dedicated as he may be to his movies, isn't that well of an actor. It's the same kind of feeling when you see Dane Cook for the first time, and think he's not all that bad, but soon realise that his jokes are all the same. For some reason, Bale's characters seems to always end up as someone with a retarded voice.

This movie had some obvious flaws. Like when they were sneaking away, they stopped at a red light, and they were getting really apprehensive at the people eying them. When the light turned green, they turned right. Couldn't they have turned right on red? There were no other cars around. It was a bit strange, but I'm not too sure on the road laws of the 1930's so I can't say for sure.

Public Enemies isn't really an action movie. The action scenes they did have weren't amazing or anything. This is more of a movie about the drama of a criminal's rise and fall to power. Kind of like Scarface, but worse. Public Enemies, as good as some people say it may be, is pretty average. Yeah, it's better than most of the stuff that's come out so far, but that's only because this is the year the fallout from the WGA strike hits us. If this came out any other year, this wouldn't have the scores it has now. I wouldn't spend money to see it again, but if you're into movies for the plot and see actions as a good secondary element, then you'll like this. If not, you'll probably not like it as much.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

So I just got back from seeing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and I have to say, it's very, very, mediocre. I have a lot to say about it so I figured I should make two reviews for two classes of people. This review is the shorter, spoiler free review. My next review of this movie will contain spoilers and be longer. It'll take me about a day to do, so don't expect it tomorrow or the next day. I have stuff to do tomorrow! Anyway, on to the review but first, the prologue.

I got there about 20 minutes before the film started and it was already pretty packed. I got a seat on the end of the row, right next to the stairs, so I had to use my awesome ability of contortion multiple times throughout the movie while people shimmy past. Kids were sitting in front of me. They were really annoying. Before the movie even began, they started chanting "Transformers" and everyone went oddly quiet. Their dad was like shh, nobody else is chanting. It was pretty funny. 8 year olds definitively enjoyed the movie. Out of their screams of laughter and other things, they made their view clear.

The movie starts off in 17,000 BC, showing some tribesmen chasing a tiger across the plains of... I suppose it's Egypt. They come across some robots with some huge cannon type thing and the bots start killing them. Then it cuts to Shanghai where some Decepticons were detected and a secret task force called NEST is coming to take down the robots. What does NEST stand for? I dunno, just roll with it. They use the Autobots to take down the Decepticons in the area and all is fine and dandy until Optimus Prime is given a warning about some dude named the Fallen.

Meanwhile, Sam Whitwickey, played by Shia Lebeowolf, is going off to college to learn about technology and astronomy. His mom is all crying and being annoying (which some people in the theatre misinterpreted as being humourous) and wishing he wouldn't go. He finds a piece of the all-spark in his jacket pocket and it beams the location of something that is unknown at this time into his head. He starts seeing weird symbols which'll help find the unknown item. He says goodbye to his parents and his girlfriend, which he promises not to blow off once he gets into college, and of course he'd never do that right? So he heads off to college and meets with his 3 roomies, 2 of which only have like 5 lines. The other one is godly annoying and unnecessary for the plot. Speaking of which, a lot of people and events are unnecessary for the plot. Those two dogs humping each other is really retarded, going to college is unnecessary. Even the humans are unnecessary.

A Transformers movie should be about Transformers, and not about human drama. I don't care about the seductive poses of Super Hot Megan Fox, I want to see stuff getting blown up. Who cares about love interests, this should be a movie about robots fighting robots and humans getting intertwined in the conflict. Everything they could of done correctly they failed horribly on. You can't pick out and name Decepticons, they're all gray and the same exact model. There is way too much Star Trek shaky camera, and you can't tell what is going on during the battles. The sad thing is this movie is so horrible, yet theaters are packed with people who are going to see it. I like to review movies, so I wanted to see this movie for the sole purpose of hating it. I really hated it. I'd barely consider renting the thing let alone buying the dvd. You should probably avoid this movie until the DVD comes out.

I'll explain all these plot failures and retarded themes in a lot more in detail in my spoiler review.

Stay tuned!

[PROTOTYPE]

So I just finished my 11 hour game streak of playing [Prototype] and I have to say it was pretty good. I had no idea what to expect going in and it turned out to raise my expectations for good sandbox games.

[Prototype] is a game that centers around Alex Mercer, a person who has strange powers and amnesia. He lives in New York City where a virus is beginning to take over and the military has come to put a stop to it. The plot is really good at times and it could be a fairly interesting movie if done correctly. Alas, it's not without retarded errors, but I'll leave criticizing plots to movie reviews.

The gameplay is really fluent and everything flows together. You could be flipping off of a building and start gliding and it'll seem really realistic. The superpowers this dude has reminds me of The Thing mixed with Venom from the spider man comics and the T-1000 from Terminator 2. It's a very tasty mix if I do say so myself. His voice is pretty strange though. At times he sounds like George Clooney and then switches to Hayden Christensen. It's really weird. It's like, he sounds cool, then he sounds like a faggot who likes to destroy franchises though he can be fairly good like in that Jumper movie which I enjoyed despite the negative reviews it has gotten.

By the way, don't read too much into the Wikipedia article, like the character biographies, because it gives a lot away. Seems as though they don't use the spoilers ahead warning anymore.

I recommend this game to you if you're into that sandbox type superhero game. If you seem to stray away from those kind of games I can safely say that it's a lot better than that Superman Returns sandbox superhero game, so don't worry.

A weird thing about this game though is that I didn't really care for the Sandbox part. I never did anything other than do the main missions, and I still got to unlock all of the upgrades with the points from them. I like the choice, but I never chose to dick around. I usually do though with GTA and Spiderman 2. I guess I didn't with this game because whenever you try to kill people, you're going to get shot at so much and be annoyed by those APCs and strike teams.

I really liked it though, you should check it out.

Taken

Since Taken is coming out on DVD in the USA... sometime (I saw it in a commercial) I suppose I'll give you my review.

Taken stars Liam Nelson Neeson, that dude who talked for your father in Fallout 3. To be fair, Liam Neeson is a pretty good actor. I liked him as Henry Ducard in Batman Begins and he was good in Schindler's List. In Taken, I thought he was pretty good as a neurotic father.

So to sum up what I'm going to say, Taken is pretty good. See it if and when you can. Okay, on to the review. Spoilers ahead too.

Taken is a good action movie. It has a dark vibe to it, and it has a pretty simplistic storyline. I don't think it's anything new, though. Some dude takes your daughter and you have to go retrieve her. Sweet! The less there is of a story, the more time there is for action!

While Taken is a good movie, it still has flaws. One thing that is very prominent is the misogynistic script and characters. The women in this movie are idiots. They're always being retarded. The wife is being way too nonchalant about her daughter going to Europe to follow a band around with a few cousins and her horny blonde friend. Yeah, nothing can go wrong. I guess you're not supposed to like the characters, but damn, I was happy in ways when I saw the blonde chick dead that one should talk to their therapist about. The blonde chick was way too stupid to be living anyway. Yes, have sex with the French stranger that you just met at the taxi.

Benzaie probably liked this movie.

The plot is definitely shattered beyond repair. I didn't know half of the supporting characters from the movie or care to pay attention to who they were. Even after I watched it a second time, things still didn't clear up for me. I never did figure out who that one dude who Liam used to work with was or how he got evil.

Meh.

Watchmen Game

So I got the Watchmen: The End is Nigh the other day and I've been playing it a bit.

The game is based on the comic and movie Watchmen. For the record, I liked the movie. I haven't read all of the comic, but from what I've read they seemed to have stayed fairly loyal to the comic. I can't say for sure, but I did enjoy the movie. I was never really a comic reading kind of person, but I like looking at the details of a lot of comic superhero's lives. The movie was good, and looks as though they didn't leave out anything totally integral to getting the feel of the comic. Ahh, but you're reading this for the game review, not the movie review.

The Watchmen game details the events leading up to the movie and comic with our heroes Rorschach and Niteowl. The game is better than some of the movie tie-in games I've played. That's not saying much though, believe me, it's really boring. It's your basic beat 'em up game with a storyline. The game's foundation parts are mostly fine though. The controls are fine, the camera is a bit awkward at times, the combos are neat, but the Prince of Persia fighting system flaw is found in the game. They try to implement special little combo cutaway things. You know like when you do a successful attack thing in Assassin's Creed and it does that camera change and shows blood going everywhere, every time? Yeah, that's basically it. The game is okay to say the least. If you have some money to blow on a game that you'll play for like an hour and a half to 2 hours, go for it. I just got bored after playing with it for 30 minutes.

Star Trek Movie Review and a Nostalgic look on my past experiences with Star Trek

I watched the new Star Trek movie yesterday, and being a fan (not an insane fan though) I was compelled to do a review. Now if you're reading this and haven't seen the movie, don't. You'll go in with a tainted mindset and you'll ruin your experience of the movie. Draw your own conclusions and then read this review. If you really want to, you can read the first part. There aren't any spoilers.

I remember the first time I saw Star Trek. It was a episode of Voyager, and oddly enough, the last episode. With it being the last episode and all, I didn't know what was going on, but it had cool effects and things getting blown up, so I thought it couldn't be that bad. From then on, I sporadically watched Voyager, The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, and Enterprise, only really liking Voyager and TNG. Deep Space 9 was too boring for me, and Enterprise had that bullshit intro that scared me into hiding under my bed at night. It wasn't until a few years ago that I noticed what channel the Original Series was being shown on. I watched most of TOS, but only enjoyed a few episodes. It had the quality of a B-Movie and it was a bit dated for my tastes. The episodes I liked are the stereotypical episodes you'd think a fan would like, such as the episodes with the Tribbles, the City on the Edge of Forever, that one where Kirk fights Spock, and Space Seed. I thought those had good plots and were executed pretty nicely.

My god, we're going to need a lot more flat Ginger Ale to tackle this many sore throats!

After the TV shows, where else can you go instead of watching the movies?

The Star Trek movies I watched were all around good, with Insurrection probably being the worst. I never saw any of the movies before Generations, maybe snippets of Wrath of Khan, but generally none of the movies with the original cast. I suppose I was spared that saddening death scene of Spock, and the horrors of the Final Frontier, but I should buy those movies and check them out some time.

Ahh, but who cares about all of that. Lets get on to the review. Spoilers are probably ahead by the way.

So I thought it was pretty good. I agree with most of the reviews I've looked at so far, seeing how people could love or hate it. I liked it. I don't think it was the best Star Trek, but it was really good. The casting was great and the acting was too.

Spock Reincarnate omgomgogmomgomgomg!!1!

While the movie was good in my eyes, I noticed a bunch of people who felt betrayed by J.J. for some reason. Some of them said that they destroyed the character of Kirk, and the other people, and I try to explain that the Kirk from the movie is the Kirk in the alternate reality who grew up without his dad, so it's not the representation of Kirk from the Original Series timeline. I then can't look at them anymore because their skin is so bright, I've temporarily gone blind. Die hard fans of the Star Trek series never like any new Star Trek movies anyway. Maybe because the new movies always try to appeal to a wider audience, and attempt to trap more people in the web of virginity that is Star Trek.

Though the movie was good, there were some strange things that I don't think can be overlooked.

Firstly, what was up with that mining ship. Were people too lazy to build at least a ladder? There is nothing bridging the gap between the two platforms. Who would build a ship like that?! I know the Romulans are crazy, but come on.

What about Uhura? Wasn't she a slut? Just for the record, I'm not insulting the actor that portrayed Uhura, just the character's backstory. There were like 2 scenes that I remember where Uhura professed her love for Spock, and acted retarded. Also, I know Spock was young and angsty, but when he went into those fits of rage, I wanted to go slap the screenwriters. Also, was I the only one who thought Spock was about to split that Vulcan bully's skull open? Everyone looked like they were about to get their throats cut if they so happened to cross him.

I thought the Plot was a bit bland, though I do love time traveling concepts. The "Red Matter" was unexplained and convienent. It seemed like a "don't ask don't tell" relationship. Who was that Green Chick that Kirk was doing? Why was Kirk promoted so fast? Why show that truth telling bug thing if we never saw it in action? Why do you leave us with so many questions?

Works in mysterious ways.

Though it did have flaws, Star Trek did shine at times. Karl Urban was awesome as McCoy, Simon Pegg was funny as usual, and the comic relief was pretty good too. I found it especially hilarious when they were diving to the drill, and that red shirt didn't pull his chute. I was wondering who he was, and when he died I remember that he had a red suit. I found it pretty funny that they put that in there. I did find it disappointing that they couldn't find a place to have some cameos of the surviving cast though.

Still, Star Trek was a good movie, and I'd check it out if I were you.

Crank: High Voltage

So yesterday I saw two mediocre movies with my Dad before he had to head off to Korea today for like 7 months, and we had a pretty fun time. Since there was nothing else out to watch, we went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Crank: High Voltage. So lets start off this review with Crank: High Voltage.

I'll try to not spoil anything that's not blatantly obvious.

The first thing I don't understand about this movie is how he survived the fall from the first movie. They even ask how he survived in the movie and the girlfriend was just like, he's Chev Chelios! Fucking nice explanation you idiot. So he gets picked up and his heart is replaced by a temporary one that needs electric stimulation to keep pumping blood. Another retarded thing about this movie is he's awake when they take out his heart. I mean, Christ, can he defy the laws of reality anymore?! He even has the mask over his mouth and face. That's pretty retarded. So he beats people up and he goes to get his heart back. Shit hits the fan and his battery pack is destroyed and he needs electric stimulation from other sources, like cars, power boxes, friction, stuff like that. So he beats people up and copies a lot of the things from the first Crank. I won't give away what he copies but all of the parts that were new and interesting in the first one have their special value destroyed in this one. It wasn't as good as the first one, but if you have nothing else to do then you can go watch it. All in all, I like it. It is a funny movie that doesn't take itself seriously. There aren't too many movies that can be called Action-Comedy, but it can take the medal for it. I just think that it changed too suddenly from a serious action movie to a comedy.