Book of Eli

Well I'm back to making reviews I suppose. The first review of 2010 shall be "The Book of Eli".

The book of Eli is a film based in a Fallout 3-esque apocalyptic future. Denzel Washington is a Lone Wanderer traveling west across the lawless and barren wasteland of the USA. He's been traveling 30 or so years reading a book over and over every day. He's run into many traps and foes along his travels and has become very adept at detecting where people are hiding.

Gary Oldman is a leader of a town who is looking for the 'twinkie' of his childhood as Woody Harrelson did in Zombieland. A book that is very near and dear to him. He hires goons to kill and loot travelers to find the book. He discovers that the Lone Wanderer has it and he will do anything to get his hands on it. The Wanderer will have none of that though, and will protect the book at all costs.

The movie is pretty good in my opinion. Sure, a lot could have been better. It felt a bit empty and boring at parts, but I still enjoyed it. It reminded me a lot of Fallout 3, which I'm sure some of the writers have played. Denzel Washington even mentions "I Fought the Good Fight" at one part.

I can see how many people didn't like this movie. I didn't think it was a major masterpiece but it was a good movie. Sure, the plot was a bit... thin. They could have done more with the plot and actually said why everyone nuked each other. I'm sure the writers could only think of Fallout plot points, so they didn't say more about how they survived.

It was good though. I'd go see it if I were you.

I also have to mention how stupid the poster is. Why did they have to shove that comingsoon.com right out there? It destroys the look and feel of it. Whatever.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Game

I am extremely mad and bored right now so here's a review.

I got the game for Harry Potter and the blah blah blah two days ago and I just finished it yesterday.

It was shit, but what can you expect from something like this? The movie wasn't based around action. It was based around humor and potion making. That sounds really fun doesn't it? They made a lot of shit up for this game, and I think it could of really improved if they didn't confine themselves to only the movie. Didn't they know there is a book on this? They pulled so many random fights and Quidditch matches out of their ass it's retarded. The Quidditch matches are basically fly through rings and at some arbitrary time you'll get the snitch. You don't even control the flying. It's like a throwback to those shitty FMV Sega CD games. You could seriously just leave the character in one place and you'd be fine. Besides when you're going through those fucking goal loops. They did that like once in the entire series and you're doing it 20 times. The fucked up part of all of this is that Ginny is as good of a seeker as Harry. I thought Harry was supposed to be some prodigy at this or something. And during the liquid luck sequence you can't even control your character. The whole game is really boring. Even the action. All you'll do is just mash on the stupify button and strafe around the enemy hoping that the barrage of 5000 stupifies you're shooting at them kills them first. Ignoring all of that, the other retarded thing you have to do here is potion making. God I hate potion making. The game couldn't even keep up with my mouse turning skills when you have to mix the shit, and since when is liquid death pink? Fuck this game. It is shit.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

I saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince yesterday. Yes, I saw this movie on opening day. Not only did I see it on opening day, I watched some of it on the second day. I saw this movie at 10:30 pm. I hadn't even planned to see it at 10:30. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. My mom was looking at movie times for some movies and I was like, hey, we should go see Harry Potter right now! She was a bit reluctant, and my brother had to take a shower and stuff before going out. So we had to get ready in 10 mins because it takes 20 minutes to get to the theater. By the time we left it was already 10:05 so we knew if there were a lot of people there we would get a shit seat, or maybe no seat at all. Even when we were driving, there were a bunch of slow people and even a little bit of traffic so we couldn't get there any less than 10:30.

Well when we got there the car parking lot was packed and we knew we'd get some really bad seats. We got in and some fat dude who totally looked like a pedophile was on the verge of legally harassing this one <21 year old cashier chick. I suppose that's why they're behind glass. Anyway, we got our tickets, and avoided the popcorn and drinks until we got our seats. We walked into the theater and what do you know, 2 empty rows of 4 seats on the right side of the theater. My brother got the first row, while I got the second row with my mom. So she went to get popcorn, and I was happy now that I avoided all of those 10 year old fucks who would be driving me crazy.

The movie started and every got really really quiet. No one made a sound, besides some laughter, throughout the entire movie. Good moviegoers seem to come at 10:30 showings :\

The movie starts, Harry gets curb stomped and survives with only a broken nose, and everything is pretty good. The movies ends and I'm like: "What?"

Nothing was accomplished. The only things that were accomplished are Dumbledore's death, learning about some objects, realizing that Voldermort may have been evil as a child, and to witness the fall of Michael Gambon's career. Even though that nothing was really accomplished, it was still the best Harry Potter. Maybe the Goblet of Fire was a bit better, but this one was dark funny and with the few action moments it had, it was really good. I actually can't wait to see it again.

I didn't feel any of the hype other people had for this movie, I just wanted to see something at 10:30 pm. I had no expectations, and I think I only saw the last movie once, so I was ready for anything. Halfway through the movie, I was pleasantly surprised to see myself enjoying it.

I've never read the books but for a film that makes a book to movie translation, you shouldn't have to. The reason a movie is made that is based on a book is to tell the story of a book to people who are too lazy to read. The Harry Potter series is a fine example of what a book to movie translation should be.