Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

So I just got back from seeing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and I have to say, it's very, very, mediocre. I have a lot to say about it so I figured I should make two reviews for two classes of people. This review is the shorter, spoiler free review. My next review of this movie will contain spoilers and be longer. It'll take me about a day to do, so don't expect it tomorrow or the next day. I have stuff to do tomorrow! Anyway, on to the review but first, the prologue.

I got there about 20 minutes before the film started and it was already pretty packed. I got a seat on the end of the row, right next to the stairs, so I had to use my awesome ability of contortion multiple times throughout the movie while people shimmy past. Kids were sitting in front of me. They were really annoying. Before the movie even began, they started chanting "Transformers" and everyone went oddly quiet. Their dad was like shh, nobody else is chanting. It was pretty funny. 8 year olds definitively enjoyed the movie. Out of their screams of laughter and other things, they made their view clear.

The movie starts off in 17,000 BC, showing some tribesmen chasing a tiger across the plains of... I suppose it's Egypt. They come across some robots with some huge cannon type thing and the bots start killing them. Then it cuts to Shanghai where some Decepticons were detected and a secret task force called NEST is coming to take down the robots. What does NEST stand for? I dunno, just roll with it. They use the Autobots to take down the Decepticons in the area and all is fine and dandy until Optimus Prime is given a warning about some dude named the Fallen.

Meanwhile, Sam Whitwickey, played by Shia Lebeowolf, is going off to college to learn about technology and astronomy. His mom is all crying and being annoying (which some people in the theatre misinterpreted as being humourous) and wishing he wouldn't go. He finds a piece of the all-spark in his jacket pocket and it beams the location of something that is unknown at this time into his head. He starts seeing weird symbols which'll help find the unknown item. He says goodbye to his parents and his girlfriend, which he promises not to blow off once he gets into college, and of course he'd never do that right? So he heads off to college and meets with his 3 roomies, 2 of which only have like 5 lines. The other one is godly annoying and unnecessary for the plot. Speaking of which, a lot of people and events are unnecessary for the plot. Those two dogs humping each other is really retarded, going to college is unnecessary. Even the humans are unnecessary.

A Transformers movie should be about Transformers, and not about human drama. I don't care about the seductive poses of Super Hot Megan Fox, I want to see stuff getting blown up. Who cares about love interests, this should be a movie about robots fighting robots and humans getting intertwined in the conflict. Everything they could of done correctly they failed horribly on. You can't pick out and name Decepticons, they're all gray and the same exact model. There is way too much Star Trek shaky camera, and you can't tell what is going on during the battles. The sad thing is this movie is so horrible, yet theaters are packed with people who are going to see it. I like to review movies, so I wanted to see this movie for the sole purpose of hating it. I really hated it. I'd barely consider renting the thing let alone buying the dvd. You should probably avoid this movie until the DVD comes out.

I'll explain all these plot failures and retarded themes in a lot more in detail in my spoiler review.

Stay tuned!

[PROTOTYPE]

So I just finished my 11 hour game streak of playing [Prototype] and I have to say it was pretty good. I had no idea what to expect going in and it turned out to raise my expectations for good sandbox games.

[Prototype] is a game that centers around Alex Mercer, a person who has strange powers and amnesia. He lives in New York City where a virus is beginning to take over and the military has come to put a stop to it. The plot is really good at times and it could be a fairly interesting movie if done correctly. Alas, it's not without retarded errors, but I'll leave criticizing plots to movie reviews.

The gameplay is really fluent and everything flows together. You could be flipping off of a building and start gliding and it'll seem really realistic. The superpowers this dude has reminds me of The Thing mixed with Venom from the spider man comics and the T-1000 from Terminator 2. It's a very tasty mix if I do say so myself. His voice is pretty strange though. At times he sounds like George Clooney and then switches to Hayden Christensen. It's really weird. It's like, he sounds cool, then he sounds like a faggot who likes to destroy franchises though he can be fairly good like in that Jumper movie which I enjoyed despite the negative reviews it has gotten.

By the way, don't read too much into the Wikipedia article, like the character biographies, because it gives a lot away. Seems as though they don't use the spoilers ahead warning anymore.

I recommend this game to you if you're into that sandbox type superhero game. If you seem to stray away from those kind of games I can safely say that it's a lot better than that Superman Returns sandbox superhero game, so don't worry.

A weird thing about this game though is that I didn't really care for the Sandbox part. I never did anything other than do the main missions, and I still got to unlock all of the upgrades with the points from them. I like the choice, but I never chose to dick around. I usually do though with GTA and Spiderman 2. I guess I didn't with this game because whenever you try to kill people, you're going to get shot at so much and be annoyed by those APCs and strike teams.

I really liked it though, you should check it out.

Taken

Since Taken is coming out on DVD in the USA... sometime (I saw it in a commercial) I suppose I'll give you my review.

Taken stars Liam Nelson Neeson, that dude who talked for your father in Fallout 3. To be fair, Liam Neeson is a pretty good actor. I liked him as Henry Ducard in Batman Begins and he was good in Schindler's List. In Taken, I thought he was pretty good as a neurotic father.

So to sum up what I'm going to say, Taken is pretty good. See it if and when you can. Okay, on to the review. Spoilers ahead too.

Taken is a good action movie. It has a dark vibe to it, and it has a pretty simplistic storyline. I don't think it's anything new, though. Some dude takes your daughter and you have to go retrieve her. Sweet! The less there is of a story, the more time there is for action!

While Taken is a good movie, it still has flaws. One thing that is very prominent is the misogynistic script and characters. The women in this movie are idiots. They're always being retarded. The wife is being way too nonchalant about her daughter going to Europe to follow a band around with a few cousins and her horny blonde friend. Yeah, nothing can go wrong. I guess you're not supposed to like the characters, but damn, I was happy in ways when I saw the blonde chick dead that one should talk to their therapist about. The blonde chick was way too stupid to be living anyway. Yes, have sex with the French stranger that you just met at the taxi.

Benzaie probably liked this movie.

The plot is definitely shattered beyond repair. I didn't know half of the supporting characters from the movie or care to pay attention to who they were. Even after I watched it a second time, things still didn't clear up for me. I never did figure out who that one dude who Liam used to work with was or how he got evil.

Meh.